3 More Reasons As To Why We Should Forgive Ourselves
On Sunday, the big idea we talked about was: he who forgives himself little, loves little. That was based on the text of Luke 7:36-50.
Here are a few follow-up ideas to the message:
(1) Good works based on the Law do not get us closer to forgiving ourselves.
There is a problem with penance, either from the church or from ourselves. Penance causes us to dwell on the negative. Sure, we need to realize that we have sinned; God calls us to that. But how much dwelling do we need?
Penance, when completed, doesn’t give us a greater sense of satisfaction in God, it gives us a greater satisfaction in ourselves. It does not elevate the grace of God. It does not make God’s grace the story, only a part of the story. And that takes away from the glory of God and the true hope that lies in forgiveness. Only when we fully embrace the power the Law has to bring us to God, and only when we leave the presence of God fully forgiven, can we attach our worth to the message of freedom in Jesus. Our value is in a forgiven, freed conscience, not in one burdened with guilt and a passive-aggressive resentment toward God and how He will not forgive us until certain conditions (penance) are met. Does that really do God any good, or does it perpetuate the hold we believe we have on our salvation, our salvation before God and the salvation we believe we can give to ourselves?
Only Christ grants true release.
(2) A self-forgiven sin is one more opportunity to serve others.
How much time/effort/heartache is consumed with each past failure we dwell on and do not release? For each person it’s different, but it’s there.
Imagine what you can accomplish if you weren’t thinking about that past sin. Imagine how much more productive you could be at work. Imagine how much more interactive you could be with your families. Imagine how much more you could interact with people for the sake of Christ.
There will always be a part of us engaged in personal loathing when we refuse to forgive ourselves for even one past hiccup in our morality. And that will hinder us from one more celebratory moment of praise, or any other moment in which we would have had the opportunity to be more fully engaged in the life around us.
Make the case to your heart that if you could release that piece of pain that will not die, you can accomplish something greater today. Jesus made His case for why you can release that pain while He was on the cross; listen to His testimony.
(3) One of the keys to forgiving yourself is not comparing yourself to others.
Have you ever had someone not let you forget about something you did in the past? You can use all the “nagging wife” stereotypes you want, but a lot more than close loved ones have a bad habit of reminding us of that one thing once upon a time.
What if you did not cower in fear, wondering if they were going to bring up that painful memory to win an argument, or to bully you into doing something? What if you, apart from them, decided that bringing up that piece of the past was no longer an option, was no longer on the table, was no longer going to hold power over you? At that point, the consequences are on the other person to either finally forgive you, treat you fairly/differently, or withhold forgiveness. They are then responsible if they decide to behave in the unchristian manner. If you have asked for forgiveness, sincerely, and have demonstrated change as a result of repentance, then you are not bound to guilt involving that past issue. But, you must be sure that you are in a season of change, so a continued charge cannot be held against your character. Jesus does say: go and sin no more.
Don’t play the game; if you are free and you know it, make the choice to believe that you are free. Do not let someone hold you hostage in your own mind. Christ does not seek to keep anyone like that, and neither should we. Grace received, grace offered.
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Imagine the realization of that true sense of freedom in Christ. It’s coming and it could be here. Amen.
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