Helping with the Speck in Your Brother’s Eye
Matthew 7:1-5 says: “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
This passage is misunderstood and misused on an incredible level. Christians, who have been convicted of their sin by a fellow Christian, will take the first verse by itself and try to say that they should be left alone; no one has the right to judge them. Or, Christians who see sin in a fellow Christian, are too quick to break out the rod of correction.
But from Jesus (and from other writers in Scripture) it clearly says that we are to help our brothers and sisters in Christ when they are sinning and may or may not see it. Jesus says that you may be the one to help them. But only under certain circumstances. First, it would seem that Jesus is implying here that there is already a relationship that is established between you and this other person. Two, you must be aware of the consequences of how this might play out. And three, you must feel called to help this fellow Christian.
So how might you discern if you are called to help with the speck in your brother’s eye?
(1) Feeling that something is drawing you back to this situation
If you feel anger, rage, hate, pity, or another emotion because of a sin you saw or see being committed by someone close in the faith, and it keeps raising these emotions in you, perhaps there is something more. Maybe you understand why this situation raises these emotions, perhaps not. Either way, then…
(2) Pray about it
Ask the Lord if He might be calling you to reach out to this person. Perhaps God is simply telling you to deal with your own reactions. But, if you feel that God is telling you that there is more for you to do, then…
(3) Identify the sin that you see happening
Be specific. The speck that Jesus is referring to is more effectively addressed as a singular idea. It is very difficult to help someone when they feel that there is a laundry list of sins that you have been compiling to attack them with. You want to identify the one sin that causes all or most of the emotions you are dealing with. Once you’ve identified the specific sin, then…
(4) Identify, wrestle with, and purge the sin in your life
Pray and ask the Lord to help you see your sin. Reflect on the sin you see happening and the correlation between it and the emotions, actions, and reactions it is releasing in you.
Is it causing you unrighteous anger?
Is it causing you to gossip?
Is it causing you to start finding other faults?
Write down the list of sins that come as a result of seeing this one sin. You will be surprised at what you identify. Then you will begin to understand how your sin can be this giant log compared to the one speck of sin you see in this other person.
Confess these sins to God. Confess them again. Plead for the power of the cross to make you whole. Do this until the Holy Spirit satisfies you that you have received the grace of God so fully that you have been purged of the thought and intent to commit these sins again. When thinking of the person you wish to address and their sin, it must revile you to even think about the sins you did as a result of seeing that sin committed.
All that can be left after this process of reflection and confession and receiving of the forgiveness of God is a pure concern for that same grace of God to lead this other person to walk away from their sin. And then…
(5) Pray about how to address your fellow Christian in the most constructive way
Pray. Pray with intensity. Ask the Lord to open your heart and mind to the possibilities. Then write down whatever might flow in that time. Take the time to judge, with discernment, the possibly bad ideas, the good ideas, and the better ideas. Take them back to the Lord in prayer and ask for direction. When you feel God has brought you peace in how to move forward, then…
(6) Rehearse your words
Be intentional. Write an outline if needed. Anticipate reactions. Make sure your sin is still not a stumbling block between your words, your brother or sister in Christ, and the Gospel reconciliation they need. Then…
(7) Pray that this person’s heart will be opened to receive the message
May God grant them a willing spirit to understand the difficulty their sin causes and the difficulty for you in preparing to come and reach out to them. At this point, finally…
(8) Seek restoration for your brother or sister in Christ
Approach them with humility. It will be difficult to hear about their sin. For any of us, it always is. May God be truly present in your words.
This process is not meant to be easy. I believe that’s the point of Jesus’ words when comparing a speck to a log. The authority to reach someone on this level takes time. People must see you living the example of Christ and not seeking to be judge, jury, and executioner. There are few things more important or more powerful for us in this life than to consider the grace of reconciliation. There is no timetable on this process, but slow and deliberate is better than hasty and careless. May God help us all in this necessary part of the Kingdom of God. Amen.
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