Was Jesus Thinking About Your Sibling Rivalry When He Was Teaching?
Just how important is that unresolved argument with your family member?
Matthew 5 says: 21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brotherwill be liable to judgment; whoever insultshis brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hellof fire. 23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Sibling rivalry has the opportunity to turn into years of pain if not resolved in a positive way. Mary and I have always tried to show our boys the value of respecting their brothers and treating them with dignity. The human condition can quickly cause us to devolve into pettiness, and we must be ever-vigilant against what can do long-term harm to our closest relationships.
My prayer is that our boys will grow up to be strong brothers, always advocating and encouraging one another and so we seek to unite them and not divide them. Yes, boys will be boys, but respect will never go out of style. I’ve seen too many strained sibling relationships to think that it can never happen to our family. Parents, guard your children’s sibling relationships. Seek after peace, loyalty, and encouragement for them. Never stop.
I think Jesus understands the pain of sibling rivalry more than we remember. He was not welcomed in his hometown, and when questioned, the townspeople seemed to imply that they thought Jesus was setting Himself up against and over His earthly siblings. I believe nothing could be further from the truth. Yes, Jesus was the Son of God; yes, Jesus is God Himself. But, would He dare disrespect His father or His mother? He submitted to them, as Scripture says. So, why would not treat the rest of His earthly family that way?
I think that Jesus well understood the pain of unresolved conflict. Scripture doesn’t tell us, but I’m hoping that along the way, any unresolved conflict between Him and His family was given closure. So, I can almost see the stress in His words of encouragement to those listening: your family is too important to have these unresolved pains. Don’t let anything stop you from resolving those conflicts. God will wait for your offering, because He knows your intention to give it, but also to bring peace to your earthly relationships. Those who do these things know how to love God and love the neighbor, even if the neighbor is flesh and blood.
I believe that Jesus’ teachings have more of a personal connection than we might think. Jesus was human, after all. There’s no way He could fully escape the sins of the world being thrust on Him. He saw the anger of others against Him, He saw adultery happen, He understood the power of keeping or breaking an oath, and He knew the pain of egoism and where submission was an unwilling proposition.
We wonder what was going through the mind of our Lord as He was dying on that cross, but I am willing to consider that there was a lot of His earthly experience that was being played out in His suffering. Did any of Jesus’ earthly family consider that His suffering included the pain they had inflicted on Him at some point in their life? Was there any unresolved distress in the family that made those hours on the cross that much more painful?
It grieves me whenever I think of the sins that I have committed causing my Lord that unimaginable suffering. I grieve when I think of the innumerable sins that brothers and sisters inflict on each other with each passing moment that echo the earthly pain our Lord undoubtedly endured at the hands of those closest to Him. And so, I strive to teach my children to care for each other, so that there will hopefully not be that tension that could lead to estrangement. And when they can grasp the full weight of our Lord’s humanity dying for their regrets, then we’ll talk about these words of Jesus and how Jesus understands our earthly pains more than we can believe. Sibling rivalries transcend time, because family will always be a present reality, not a past regret or future question.
So, I wonder how personal were the teachings of Jesus? I submit that they may have more of a personal connection than we realize. Teach these values; live these values. God considers them really important. Amen.
Recent Comments